The Internet has enabled us to meet people from all over the planet. We can make friends or catch up with old ones through games, chat, social-networking sites and numerous other resources the Net offers, and sometimes we may even meet someone special and fall in love.
But then you slap your forehead to wake you up from that romantic dream and realize this person lives in another city, state or even further away in another country. At this time, this can sound extremely exciting or downright scary.
The statistics tell us the chances for this type of relationship to work out are in the single digits. However, when you consider the number of people accessing the World Wide Web, those numbers are not really that small.
So Here We Are!
We are assuming this is something serious not just the typical cyber affair for the bored, lonely or insecure and both parties have been honest with each other regarding gender, age and marital status and all other relevant detail and that one or both of you have taken the time and spent the money on international phone calls and have taken the final step and met in person. So, you have crossed that hurdle and decided this is it, I am in love.
Now What!
Well, since both of you live in another country the getting to know each other process is extremely difficult and you are now part of the world called the long-distance-relationship. Be careful! In this stage your common sense seems to be overridden by a whole new being, someone in love and lust.
You are now someone who can barely make it through the day without hearing the voice of your beloved, and you spend your time counting the days until the next visit. Life as you knew it has ended and in many cases along with your ability to think rationally.
They Are The One!
Unless you are independently wealthy or have a job with endless vacation and a terrific salary, you will now notice, this whole relationship is extremely expensive, the calls and the visits have passed the stage of affordable, and something has to give. However you are in love and the thought of living without this person is not something you want to consider. So here it comes one of you has to make a move.
Things To Consider!
Even though this is not a new phenomenon and been done since the first Neanderthal took a partner from another clan to his cave, I am going to point out some of the things you should consider before YOU make a move for love. This list of questions compiled is from personal experience and feedback from Expats.
· My money: The very first consideration for you should be and I know it sounds as romantic as signing a prenuptial agreement but it is a must. What happens if this does not work out? Do I have enough money to come back home and restart my life or live on my own in my new country? And if it does work, do I have enough money to visit home when I want or need to.
· Can I deal with having to learn a new language: Maybe this won’t be a consideration but it can be and not being able to speak the language of the country you are going to is like being illiterate! It is extremely uncomfortable and stressful when you have had a lifetime of being able to express yourself and all of a sudden can no longer understand someone speaking to you, read or write. Life becomes very difficult.
· Can I continue my career or even find a job there: There are numerous things to consider here. The number one is will your education and experience be transferable without further education or at all? Will you be given permission to work? Will you as an outsider even be given the opportunity you may be qualified for?
· Legalities: It may be easy for you to decide to live in another country but reality is something else. The right to live in another country is regulated and controlled. I do know marriage is often the key to help cut a lot of the red tape but no longer a guarantee that can get you in to stay longer than a tourist. The best way to find out what you are up against is to contact their consulate in your country and do a web search for an Expat community in that country. But prepared to do some waiting and stressing. What about children and your rights regarding them in another country? Your legal and financial rights if the relationship does not work out.
· The Culture: This is a tough one because when your tourist phase wears off you are most often confronted with the differences in culture and now your job is to integrate yourself into your new society. Be prepared you may always be an outsider, for some this becomes very difficult and they surround themselves with the Expat community and friends from their homeland, for some it is an interesting challenge.
· Family and friendships: Even though it is low on this list it is one of the most important considerations. You have to ask yourself how this will affect your relationship with your family and friends you are leaving behind. Are you prepared to no longer be part of their day-to-day lives and you theirs? What about your partners’ family? Will they accept you and welcome you with open arms? Can you handle it if this does not happen? Can you deal with a culture that might be too involved in your relationship? Can you deal with missing out on your nieces, nephews or grandchildren growing up without you? Can you deal with you parents aging and you’re not being there when needed? What about children and your rights regarding them in another country?
And On And On And ON...
I don't want to kill that wonderful romantic feeling for anyone, but a little rational thinking is a definite must when thinking about moving to another country for love.
However, I wish you well and hope life brings you all you are hoping for if you decide to take this journey.
